07 Aug

Wake-up Call

I awoke this morning to an intermittent beeping sound — so intermittent, in fact, that after it would wake me up, I’d lie there for a second sleepily contemplating whether or not I had heard a beeping sound until I finally drifted back to sleep, at which point, I’d hear the sound again. This happened about five times, probably.

Then I heard the floorboards creaking loud enough to wake me up for real. I immediately ruled out cats as culprits. It sounded more like a human-sized weight. The dog was right next to me in bed. I quickly deduced that it had to be a person.

In our house!

I slammed my hand on Eileen’s side of the bed to feel if she was there. If she had been, it would have been a rude awakening indeed.

Eileen walked into the room just as I was groggily sitting up. “What’s going on?” I asked.

“There’s a beeping sound. I think it’s a smoke alarm, but I can’t find it.”

I got up and walked out of the bedroom. “It’s this one,” I said, walking toward the most obvious smoke detector.

“I already checked that one,” Eileen said.

I stood there for a full minute until it went off again. I was wrong. “It’s the one in the bedroom,” I said.

“I was just in there trying to get it down, but I couldn’t. Is there one in the piano room?”

“I don’t think so.” I walked into the piano room and turned on the light. The alarm beeped again. It seemed to be coming from the original detector. I thought for a second and came up with a brilliant plan: check the basement.

“Where are you going?” Eileen said, as I walked through the kitchen. I mumbled an incoherent response.

At the bottom of the basement stairs, I paused until I heard it again. I sneezed just as it sounded. It was coming from the furnace room (Can I call that place a cellar? Cuz I do.). I walked into the cellar and listened again.

Eileen came in shortly afterwards and we both listened. “Did you say ‘shit’?” she asked.

“No. I sneezed.”

It beeped.

“There.” We both pointed at a smoke detector lying uselessly on the workbench. I picked it up and opened it. It had no battery.


We looked around. It beeped again. We looked back at the work bench. There was another one lying there — with batteries.

“Good grief,” I said, as we left the cellar. While we were heading back upstairs, I heard my alarm clock going off.

02 Aug

Slow News Day

We bought a new desk chair. I’m sitting in it now.

The old one wasn’t ergonomic enough.

The new one is pretty nice. Very adjustable. Lumbar support, adjustable arms, adjustable seat edge angle, adjustable seat depth, variable seat height and back firmness, wheels.