10 Nov

Political Apples

Okay, so. Big delay in the apple article, I know. Weird stuff. Igor emailed me about three weeks ago and informed me that some readers had complained that my articles seemed too politically left-leaning and that as a result, they’d be postponing my column until after the election.

I thought about retorting with a poorly-conceived slam on how people stupid enough to vote for McCain didn’t deserve to be educated on apples anyway; I also came up with a list of the five most Republican apples and considered urging Igor to “print this and see what they say!” But in the end, I just decided to go about my weekly taste-tests and finish out the season with some solid reviews that I could submit after November 4th. Well, that time has come, my friends.

The late October picks:

When I’m at parties meeting new people who ask me what I do, I first tell them I’m between jobs. Then, just as their faces are clearly registering their surprise, I say, “Just kidding. Actually, I write a column about apples.” The surprise doesn’t go away; it just changes character a little.

Eventually, though, most people say something about their favorite apple; the vast majority these days proclaim their love for Honeycrisps. How I respond to them depends on my mood. Sometimes I say, “Yeah, they recently ran DNA tests on the Honeycrisp and found that its parents weren’t the Macoun and Honeygold as previously thought but were rather the Keepsake and some mystery apple.” That reply usually kills any conversation pretty effectively and allows me to get back to eating cocktail wieners and water chestnuts wrapped in bacon.
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