09 Aug

Items I forgot to bring with me camping

1) The bacon
2) The gas for the camp stove
3) Kitchen utensils
4) A flashlight
5) Matches
6) Butter or oil
7) My brain

On Saturday night, Eileen burned herself on the candle lamp (which held a candle we had lit with someone else’s matches). We didn’t have any ointment, but we had potatoes, which are a good home remedy for burns. You cut a piece off and squeeze it to get some of the juice on the surface and apply to your burn. Anyhow, here’s the process one needs to go through in order to acquire a piece of potato from one’s car . . . when one has forgotten one’s brain.

First, walk the 50 meters out to the car. Once there, discover that the car is locked. Walk back to the tent to get the keys. Return to the car, on the way, passing your sister putting away some kitchen supplies. Briefly consider grabbing a knife to take to the car, but don’t. Once at the car, ask your mother for a knife. Extract one potato from the car and return to the campsite. Cut the potato with sister’s knife and deliver the piece to wife in tent. Return to car to put the potato back inside. Begin walking back to camp. Stop halfway. Return to car to lock it (key required). Panic momentarily due to seemingly lost key. Begin walking back to tent. Stop halfway upon discovery of key. Return to car. Lock the damn thing. Go back to the tent.

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