16 Feb

Karl Revealed

So I’m thinking, damn, I gotta tell Jimmy about this creepy mofo, and then Karl smiles at me and nods like he knows something I don’t know, and I’m about ready to punch him in the face, but then Nata says, so how you been? I glare at Karl one last time and turn to Nata and say, it’s good to see you again, but as I look into Nata’s gorgeous eyes, in the back of my mind, I’m thinking, okay, Karl, you’re getting off easy for now, but I’m gonna find out where your psychotic ass lives.

Nata turns to me and says, so Jimmy tells me you like Oprah. And I’m already starting to dream up ways to get back at Jimmy but then Nata says, that’s so cool. I love Oprah, she says. I catch a glimpse of Jimmy, who winks at me, and I’m thinking about how I owe him one. And then Karl steps up to me and Nata and asks if we’re boyfriend girlfriend, and I’m like, shit. Karl turns to me and says, is this the girl you were telling me about? And I’m like, what the hell, but I don’t say what the hell. I only say what, but it in the most what-the-hell way I know how.

But Nata gets this huge beautiful smile on her face and says, wait, you guys know each other? And I say no at the same time that Karl says yes. Nata’s looking at me with her mouth hanging open a little which I find really cute so I start telling the story about how I’m standing at the bus stop and this guy walks up to me. Pretty soon, everybody’s listening to me and I tell the part about Karl not knowing how to pop the clutch and about how northside aint east and we’re all laughing. But I don’t tell the parts about how Karl’s actually a creepy pedophile for guys my age cuz I figure that would change the mood a little.

When I’m done telling the story, everyone’s like, what a coincidence! And we’re all laughing like we’re starring in a sitcom. And then Nata says, so wait, where’s the part where you were telling him about me?

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